DFC #284
(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)  (<<)  (<)  (>)  (>>)
  (?)    '?'

Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc.
Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc.

Sure, she may like a cup of bean juice to get her going in the morning, but I kind of prefer keeping my senses dulled as long as I can, around here.--The Outsider
Yeah, I know it's just mud, but play along until I can call for help.--Demented Shmuck Productions
"You know, Jeffy, sometimes, when Mom's got the coffee brewin' and Dad lights up a big stogie, I pretend I'm out of this hell hole and in a trendy coffehouse in Seattle. You should try it. I think it's called 'positive imagery' or sumpfin' like that."--Lora-loo
Known for his bizarre last-second decisions, Bil cut the fern from the final take.--Namgubed the Merry Elf--
See how the entire cartoon is unbalanced and awry, UNTIL you set the coffee pot as the main focus? The pot is holy, Jeffy. The pot is God.--Dan Jones
Five bucks says this ain't the only fluid from Juan Valdez she's consumed.--Gen. Sedgwick
Every year on Nov. 22 she has her hair like that and puts on that pillbox hat.... kinda sad, really, even for Thel.--Gen. Sedgwick
"I can't ever keep it straight -- is Mom's sweater a dromedary or a bactrian?"--Mycroft
Hey! Before we get a lap full of scalding coffee, wouldja take that apple juice an' splash Mom outta her narcoleptic fit?--Namgubed the Merry Elf
"Well, yeah, it starts out fun. But the Japanese Tea Ceremony ends with Daddy stomping around Sumo style with a rolled-up pillow case stuffed in the crack of his ass while he beats off like a caged monkey"--spook
One lump or two? How about a generous dollop o' Bailey's?--Namgubed the Merry Elf--
Ha ha! Another mug of Sea Monkeys bite the dust!--Rabbi Baby Buggy Bumpers
Mom actually only drinks decaf. What gets her going in the morning is the crystal meth.--Anastasia
"You've got the big bad Java monkey on your back now Jeffy, and you're going to have to learn to deal with it"--moo i say
Yes, but do they make their cappuccino with breast milk at the Circle K? I think not.--Godot
This clinches it: Bil uses a factory-irregular Barbie doll to model Thel's body and one of those round plastic Fisher-Price peg-people to model her head.--soon
Yeah! Order the "Super Deluxe" breakfast and you get grits and a side of crumbs, too!--Mr. Ben
See? Corn don't dissolve like marshmallows.--Trevita
Bil likes his coffee like he likes his women, cold and bitter.--Tryin' The Difficult Zone
Ever see a middle-aged woman totally snap and brew up all of Dad's drawing ink? Not a pretty sight...--Doc Evil
I still say I'm gonna win the "poison-caption" pool this time around!--The Outsider
"See how Mom's uniboob has two humps now? That illustrates cell mitosis."--Stealth
We've secretly replaced the Keane's ordinary coffee with the bile and vituperence of a wasted existence. Let's see if they notice.--Action Jackson
Look, Bil's discovered the "dribble glass" gag. In another twenty years, he'll think up the whoopee cushion.--Peon
Now that's a damn fine cup of joe. Damn fine!--Action Jackson
"Bil likes his coffee like he likes his men...strong and black"--I admit nothing
Actually it was just a blood stain from last nights drunken animal sacrifice, but the next morning Bil decided it would be a "shadow"--the skyclad answer
Hey! You shouldn't drink coffee! It'll stunt your growth! Get it? Aw... you're about as sharp as a bowling ball, jeffy.--Bubba
"See, when you get old, like mommy...you need a good kick in the ass every morning. An' she sure ain't gonna get it from dad."--The 13th Floor
Hmmm. Black coffee for Daddy. His parole officer must be coming over.--Eat yerself fitter
One more crack like that, Baconhair, and Not Me might just launch a blistering hot cup of Hill Brothers straight into your damn face.--Eat yerself fitter
Black coffee and toast! This is the best Thanksgiving ever!--Eat Yerself Fitter
Isn't it sweet how she fixes Dad's breakfast every morning, even though he hasn't gotten up in the morning for work in over fifteen years?--marty gray
...ANY OF YOU FUCKING PIGS MOVE, AND I'LL EXECUTE EVERY FUCKING LAST ONE OF YOU.--The Gimp
"...so that just proves my point that Chance the Gardener and Ishiguro's butler are actually two sides of the same coin, free-willwise. Now pull my finger, bacon head. --Eat yerself fitter
"Someday, we'll get cups with handles...so we don't hafta palm our glasses like a fuckin' primate" --The 13th Floor
"My advice to you is to NEVER try a sip of that coffee. I did that once, and I woke up naked in an alley two blocks away."--Magus
Dad must be taking one of those Learn To Draw courses. I think this is the first time I've ever seen mom in one of these tricky 'three quarter" shots.--timm
That's right Jeffy, we're all CYBORGS! Now drink your 10-W30 and shut up!--anon
Mmm...a mug full of cigarette tar and a slab of jello shot. Mmm....the Breakfast of Champions!--Jenn Dolari
Mom's given us water straight outta Lake Erie again!--Nethicus
"Look, her eyes are closed, she put K-Y on her toast, and the coffee she's pouring is still cold. She'll relapse into a coma by noon, tops."--Thany
"Oh, please! Let her have a fifth cup! Caffiene is the LAST chemical cruising through her system that we should worry about!"--Tillman
"Word of advice, Mom. Never drink coffee that's shooting out little wavy lines."--The Rabid Rabbi
"Don't be frightened, Jeffy. Double boobs are quite common in the outside world and completely harmless. Except for the set on Jenny McCarthy."--Dave Matthews
"Mus'ta been a rough one last night. She's shakin' like Katie Hepburn."--Randall
Quick, drink it before it clots.--Bubba

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