DFC #85 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
See?? "Cathy" he laughs at. "Dilbert" he snickers at. Freakin' "Snuffy Smith" rates a chuckle. But us? He just sits there and makes up new, evil things for us to say. What a sicko.--Zenmaster
Oh, that's not hair. I tried to connect the liver spots on his head while he was napping.--Greg J
You mean he was your 'first time'? Mine, too!!--anon
Mommy, if this is what I have to look forward to, then slash my throat right now.--greg hardesty
I've had my finger in this hole for a half-hour now and my fucking arm feels like its gonna fall off. Transportation cuts my ass! Damn these inflatable busses!--Tazabby
O.K. *fine*. It wasn't "Not Me"...*he's* the guy who's been torching those Black churches. Now will you stop asking me about it?--Kevin Sterner
Look at that. Old guy, living alone, his kids never call, never write. I tell you, it's not just tragic, it's criminal. Ten bucks says he shits his pants by 18th street.--MrNeutron
I took the dentures right out of his mouth 15 minutes ago while he was snoring. And he STILL doesn't know they're gone!--Tazabby
He's going to be really pissed when he finds out I exchanged his nitro tablets for Tic-Tacs.--DMW
Why do they put Dad's strip on the Funny Pages when it clearly isn't?--DMW
The ad he circled has our phone number it. What the hell's a rubber fetish?--zazu
Is that the ghost of some relative I'm unaware of?--PDA
"Y'know, these all-night binges are pretty cool, Thel."--Capt. phealy
Richard Lamm has it right -- guys like him have a duty to just die!--Kurt L.
The German accent, the thinning hair, the odd interest in the Ayrian figures in 'Prince Valiant' ... Trust me on this one, Mommy -- It's HITLER!!--JPL in Philadelphia
Isn't he supposed to stop the bus before checking a map?--Kurt L.
Think about it mommy, that man could be our next president.--anon
You're saying this is what I'd look like if Daddy aged us realistically in this strip?--Dofang
And when I take over, useless old non-productive citizens like him will ride in the back of the bus where they belong!--jerright
A guy like that... we could kill him and no one would ever know!--Joe Batutis
I'm serious, he's been lookin' at your cartoon and breathin' heavy for five minutes. If I hear a zipper, I'm outta here!--anon
Look...I don't care if he IS a shriveled-up old man! He's wearin' a gold watch so I figure he's got some bread. Now get up there and ask him if he wants a "date" for a 100 bucks, and maybe we can pay the electric bill this month!--kafka
He's rich, he's horny, he's gonna die soon. Do I hafta draw you a fucking picture?!--Phaze
"Wow! I bet my phrenologist'd *LOVE* to get a hold of THAT head..."--hippie
Actually, I find walking in public without any pants to be quite invigorating!--zazu
Is that THE guy who reads our strip?--zazu
That man scares me mommy. He's laughing at dad's cartoon.--zazu
You mean, our tax money gets wasted on old farts like him? That does it -- when I grow up, I'm joining a militia!--Kurt L.
Phew--I'd recognize those dog food farts anywhere. You tell him to put a cork in it.--Ethelred
Look, I really don't mind visiting Billy at reform school. It's the conjugal visit part that makes me uneasy.--zazu
I say go for it. So what if he's old, bald, smells like rancid bacon fat and lugs around 80 copies of Mayor. Ed Koch is still a helluva catch! --zazu
All I know is, he's fondling his axe, mumbling "damn Liars! I'll show 'em all!" and he's reading our strip. I say we get off now! --zazu
He was watchin' when you bent down to tie my shoe, What are "gazongas"?--Vice Pope Doug
Why do you think it's degrating to women?? She's got the whip.--a little man from another place
You rub up next to him, and I'll take his food stamps.--Klieg
I'll take you on, ya' lousy bastard! You know what I like about old people? They can't hear a damm thing.--Klieg
He was trying on dresses at the same time you were! If you ask me, he doesn't have the legs for it.--Anastasia
How much do you wanna bet I can cause him to have a heart attack by the next stop?--Anastasia
Hey, Mom! Isn't that the same issue of "Suckin' Sluts" with your picture?--Ida Know
Oh, that reminds me: Daddy wants us to pick up some beef jerky on the way home.--Rotter
What about him? Do you think he's riding the bus because his spouse drank away all the car payments, too?--Rotter
You're doing very well, Thelma. OK, I'm going to count slowly backwards from 5 to 1, and when I say "One" you will awaken, convinced that the old man is a giant burrito and you'll be so hungry that...--Rotter
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