DFC #494
(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)  (<<)  (<)  (>)  (>>)
  (?)    '?'

Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc.
Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc.

"Mom, this bald guy's claimin' 'ternity rights to PJ! Please tell me I wasn't Dad's either! Pleeeeaaaaasssee!"--Riff
"Mommy! Daddy's trying to sell me for heroin, again!"--anon
"Dude's so blunted he's sayin' I got no figure. Lay down some science on the fool, Thel."-- Crazy Climber
"How could he? I've spent weeks setting up this deal, and Bil blew it all before we even got to the dinner table!"--Schol-R-LEA
"I couldn't help myself! Just look at the shape of his noggin!"--JJ
"But mom, he's smoking tobacco!"--Heath
"Dammit, I told you I don't do that cigar trick for strangers anymore!"--Torc.
Jesus! No wonder Morey Amsterdam always picked on this dillweed!--HasNoName
No, Dysfunctional Random Stranger just doesn't inspire me. Send him home.--Hugh Jass
They want me to do a table dance.--Les Miserables
"OK, there's people more hideous than us, but dammit Mom, now I'm gonna have nightmares for a month."--Torc.
Maaaaa! Earl Wilson's tokin' all the reefer again! Make 'im stop!!--Mr. Ben McClellan
"What kind of moron gets the knob-slobberin' of his life and asks for change back from a twenty?"--semillama
MOM, do I hafta marry him? God I hate being a fucking mormon!--lucynations
"You invited the Shriners over again?!?"--Torc.
Poor Billy. I hope more people come to MY wake.--Lucifer Antichrist
But what if I need my second kidney?--Bad Girl
Dammit! When dad promised to take me to "Mt. Baldy".....--K-Man and Bad Girl
"Look what that bastard did to my legs. Next time, Bil can pay off his own gambling debts."--Helder
"He's already smoking, and I didn't even get his pants off yet. Where'd you find this loser?"--Helder
Young Cathy.--Bad Girl
"I didn't object to the Dollar-Store school supplies. The 'Fonzie' bookbag from Big Lots. I even let you buy me Keds! But I am not taking that to the Kindergarten Prom!"--Heath
"Holy shit. I thought 'dickhead' was just an expression."--Helder
"The puzzles were fun, and the inkblots were okay, but now he's asking me questions and I'm startin' to remember stuff."--Galahad
"How the hell am I supposed to be a friggin' geisha girl if I can't perform a decent tea ceremony?"--RipperJak
"Ugh, jeez, he hugged me! Where do you keep the ammonia and the beltsander?"--Torc.
"But Skinner's my principal, not Weatherbee!"--Heath

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