DFC #301 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
The DFCers are here, Jeffy, turn around and show 'em your t-shirt slogan.--Namgubed the Merry Elf
Three words Peeje: Two piece outfit... Try it sometime...--Doc Evil
Jeffy, Mom wants you to do your Brillo Pad thing again.--Namgubed the Merry Elf
"Whoa, uncontrollable momentum here - too much weight in the rear compartment, 'parently - get ready to be crushed to death, peons!"--anon
"No, she's just washing the all the dishes again. I guess we're on our own until she runs outta meth."--Dr. KNob
You are two lucky mutherfuckers. But as soon as Bob Keeshan moves out, your pasty white asses are mine.--Mighty Owl
Mom says I'm right. There is such a thing as female ejaculate and that's what squirted in your eye.--Buzz Lightbeer
Well, boys, it's settled. Mom says that Daddy said I'm the best kisser!--Supergirl
That's the fifteenth time she's washed her hands since dinner. She's close, boys, she's soooo close.--Ol' Franklin
Now available on video: Dolly Keane in Melondance.--Gen. Sedgwick
Anyone up for raidin' Daddy's wallet and sneakin' out to Mario's Pizza World? Mommy's makin' spam an' grits for the fourth straight day.--Mr. Ben McClellan
Welcome to the Odd Perspective Lounge. I'm Dolly, and I'll be your massive hulk for the evening.--Jenn Dolari
"YO! Miz Keane! Sum rif-raff out here sez' dey' knows you. You want I'z to rough em' up?"--Magus
Spoil my sponsorship deals by telling the recruiter for the East German women's weightlifting team in the living room that I'm on the juice and I'll rearrange your limbs. --Bilgerat
Don't get too excited. She burned the gruel again.--Anastasia
What part of "Get the fuck out of my way you two dickwads before I stuff your heads up each other's rectums" didn't you understand?---Jester
"Awl bee bock." -The Dollynator--Reverend Wholesomeness
...no you can't come in, mommy's makin' homemade bread from her yeast infection.--R.J.M.
"Sorry punks, but nobody gets to the food if they ain't on my list. And you ain't on my list."--Shifter
It's called "reverse sexual dimorphism," shrimps. Do a web search.--t. hawk
This house has 3000 square feet in the downstairs alone, and half of it's goddam kitchen!--Vitamin Tom
Soryy, guys, but Mommy says I have the fattest ass. You each owe me a buck.--agm
Must. Smash. Melons. To. Serve. Lord. Thelma.--zen
Looks like it's gaspetti for dinner AGAIN. Can't one of you two talentless hacks find a funny way of saying "pizza"?--Coalcracker
"Dinner's always better when Mommy makes it wearing nothin' but a thong.--hangtownman
Move aside, puny creatures, the mighty Xena craves television!--Larry Hastings
Billy? Who is "Billy?" Another imaginary friend? Now step out of the way. Mommy wants me to call the Insinkerator repair guy.--Stefan Jones
"Sorry, guys, the talks broke down. It's medical experimentation for the both of you..."--Tillman
Before they knew what hit them, PJ was flying across the room clutching his balls and Jeffy was on the ground gasping for air. The Dolly-Droid had protected the kitchen well.--Rimbaud
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