DFC #35 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
No, that's not our Mom. She left years ago. That just the maid Daddy's been screwing.--anon
I love laundry day! Mommy says I don't have to wear any underwear!--Matt Smith
Sure, the machine does the job faster, but I kinda miss chewing the stains out.--Bob Schmalfeldt
Sorry we can't be friends any more, but my parents just joined the Republican party.--Greg J
Watch, in a minute she'll get into the dryer. It's how she shrinks the pants on.--RLW
A recurring character? Does the word "token" mean anything to you?--Bill Hunter
No, they ALWAYS handcuff me enroute to the prison laundry, since the "lost eyeball" incident.--Bill Hunter
Mom! I brought over a friend! Now let's make up stupid jokes about black slavery and poke at her color!--anon
. . . then the water runs out so ya hafta breathe fast and hang on because then it starts to spin fast as hell . . .--drvr911
She calls them guest sheets 'cause they're for the guys that visit while Daddy is at work!--anon
...And on the last part of the tour, we see mommy's favorite ride!--KissMyAsp
...and remember, she's more likey to hit ya, if she thinks you know she's drunk.--Roxanne LeReaux
We lived in Chernobyl. Where are you from?--Troll Ticket
--and Jenny said -- oh, wait, we're walking in front of the DFC panel. Um, "OK, Bitch, come upstairs so I can lay my dyke tongue on your twat." Anyway, like I was saying...--anon
"I figured we'd find her in here. Seems like she spends half her day running laundry and leaning up against the washer."--Blake
Don't wash behind your ears often, do ya?--Lord G
"We don't let her wear pants. Keeps her from running away."--anon
Your face is coming out nicely. A few more rounds in the washer with Clorox and we'll have you all white in no time!--Trism
"and do you know what they put on their french fries on Holland? Mayonnaise! Yeah, they drown 'em in that shit."--zed
She's been into that "Body-Paint Clothing" thing ever since Demi More did that Vanity Fair cover.--Nethicus
Flesh-eating virus, huh? Bummer. ...say, that's not contagious, is it?--Kurt L.
Billy! I don't care if this is a phase. And stop calling me "Homes"!--RBByrnes
Bil must REALLY like you! He's used more ink drawing you in this one panel than he has on any of us all year!--RBByrnes
Mom says that when I'm twelve, I can wear latex pants like hers!--anon
Daddy says that when I can reach the washer, there will be no reason left to keep that bitch around anymore.--Boschcat of the Apocalypse
No, you aren't the least bit stereotypical. Why do you ask?--Hugh Jass
Betcha you can't move your mouth past your shoulders!--BK
...so he takes her pants off and marks on her bare butt and hips with a magic marker. I know! Isn't that weird?!--BK
I have to ask you - do your parents have necks? My Mom looks like a freakin' crane, but do I get any of that? Hell NO!--BK
My mother will continue to do the wash, but you'll be expected to handle all of the ironing, of course.--Craig
Don't be surprised if my mom seems shocked by your appearance; between living in the suburbs and being married to a devout Nazi, she's never seen a person of color before.--Craig
On behalf of the entire Keane family, I'd like to apologize for my father failing to color in the anterior portion of your face - he had tickets to an afternoon Angels game.--Craig
She's completely obsessed. Everything in this house has to be bright whi... Uh oh.--Wha..?
If she didn't wash those sheets every day, they'd probably crawl out of Billy's bedroom on their own!--wolf
Keep growing that afro, and maybe someday your head will be as big as mine!--anon
No, the "wife" thing is just a cover. It's our little family secret.--Rishmawy
...for the last time, I don't KNOW how she got my basketball-head through those hips, but I AM NOT adopted. Mom, back me up on this. Mom! Mom??--BK
"Mommy said it's good manners to cover the corpse once you're done with it"--jahpeace
You gotta wonder if Keane drew you in because he thought this would make a cute caption or if he needed to fulfill some kind of quota.--Kelvin Cabrera-Castellar
I've brought Latwanda here so that she can see the kind of vicious, perverted, racist bastards we have to deal with on the 'Net.--anon
And this is were you'll spend most of your time, until the exchange program ends, of course.--anon
Slavery, schmavery . . . Look at this poor soul - 34, not a nickle to her name, and doin' our dirty duds day-in, day-out.--anon
Dolly's mother was shocked to see her daughter befriending yet another sexually amorphous troglodite dyke.--kafka
....so I says to her "Bitch, how many times do I have to tell you not to bleach a leather skirt!"--kafka
My Mom says it's not considered tampering with evidence unless you get caught.--DMW
I'm sure mommy will join in when we start playing nurse! And trust me, the things you heard about her tongue are true!--John Longarrow
Sensing the woman's distraction, the blob made a break for the door. It would eat, one way or another. Or _two_ others.--Felix W.
Do you want to come to tonight's chapter meeting? My mom's making our hoods and robes a sparkling, Aryan white.--I.M. Me
Damn girl ! You got to shave them side burns !--notorious phat
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