DFC #17 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
After 30 minutes of staring directly at the sun using Grandma's reading glasses, Dolly's eyes appear to be nothing more than small black dots.--anon
Maybe if I wear these big glasses, it'll distract from my swollen legs!--anon
"With these rad shades n' hot pants, Dondi will be jumpin' my bones in a heartbeat!"--"Uncle" Al
These sunglasses should cover up this hole in my head perfectly!--Amber Dowlin
Well, yeah, I took them at the funeral... I didn't think grampa would need them six feet under...--The Unmasked Revenger
"These glasses, a Pink Floyd double album, two hits of acid...I'm entertained!--Tim K.
Are these the "Beer Goggles" Daddy is always talking about?--Craig
Hey look!! With these magnifying glasses, I have breasts!!!--Rick Lohr
"Cool! New tea-shades! Now I won't blow all of my pot money on Visine!"--Paul T. Riddell
Hey Mr. Keane! Found your glasses! Now maybe you'll be able to see you only drew me one nostril, you blind old bat!--GM
Why don't ya just tattoo "Dork" across my forehead?--anon
With these glasses, I can be a turbo slut jes' like Madonna!--ZAZU
He didn't seem to mind, but his seeing eye dog sure did!--ZAZU
...an then I put these on and start screaming that someone's stolen my seeing eye dog. You should see people falling all over themselves being nice to me.--Blake
"What's a hooter magnifying glass, Mr. Jacobs? This doesn't seem like much of a school project to me."--anon
Then, after we were done tying up the teacher, we left her on the side of the road while we took a joy ride in the off-campus activity bus. We kept her sunglasses as souv'nirs, see mom?--MichaelG
EW! I guess I shouldn't have sneezed into Daddy's new Ray-Bans. Oh, there's my other nostril!--siren
She dresses me like a total goon, and can't accessorize for shit.--Roxanne LeReaux
I know Daddy doesn't draw very well, but this is ridiculous. Did he put sunglasses on my shoulders or is this a really fucked-up brassiere?--anon
Shit man, like these shades are totally fucking with me--Dave Browne
Now remember, Billy, this is what you're gonna have to wear if you keep on doing that thing in the bathroom....--Pastor of Muppets
Thirty years, and the only thing that ages is my eyes? I still got the boobs of a six-year old, and the ASS of I don't know what...!--Pastor of Muppets
I'll bet if my ears weren't just painted on, these would work alot better.--Kyosuke
"And with these steel Gucci breast frames Daddy'll REALLY be feelin' the pain tonight!"--anon
At its current rate of growth, my head will be too big for these glasses by tomorrow afternoon! --GareBear
Wow, Grandma's sunglasses sure flew far after I pushed her in front of that bus!--Steve Miller
"Wuu-wee! Dolly is lookin' SEEEEXXX-EEEE!!"--anon
Wow! So this is what it's like in the Witness Protection Program.--Ray Gaskill
"I'll be the mommy, and Billy will be the daddy. Now Jeffy, you don't come in until Billy leaves."--&
If we mail these with a finger and a note that says, "Next the eyes!" they'll pay more.--Nick Helms
Yes, Daddy, these are the X-Ray Specs I ordered from that comic book. Now I wanna ask you something: does Frederick's really make French maid underwear in your size, or did you have those custom-made?--Andy Ihnatko
Now, just how did Madonna fit these things in her last video?--Omega Wolf
Gee, it says here, "Made in Singapore." Just the item to complete my "Asian Streetwalker" look.--anon
In just a few more years, I'll actually have a nose big enough to hold these up!--Nato Welch
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