DFC #92 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
I got us some more L's so Dadddy can start spelling his name right.--Robert
Would you believe all of the playground equipment in the park is held together with only two pins?--DMW
Hey, Mommy, look! I got some sticks so we can build something and actually have more than one bloody piece of furniture in the house at a time!--The Outsider
Hey everyone! I stole some interpanel dividers from Dennis's strip. Now they'll have to have a groupfuck scene!--Ethelred
I got the last two earwax candles left at Thrifty. Who wants to go first?--Ethelred
Hey, ya remember how Daddy used to be the only member of this family with a normal-shaped head? Well, not anymore!--Kurt L.
...and so I took off the wiper blades, and now Billy's playing Spirograph on the windshield!--Scott Ryan
HEY MOM! There was a great big explosion in the air and these came raining down out of the sky! Living in New York is so cool!--Yakko
Thursday. Finally my turn to beat PJ about the face and neck.--Skillet
Guess who's the new drummer for Smashing Pumpkins?--The Sandman
Hey we got gifts from Uncle Ted in jail! What are pipe bo....."The last words the Family Circus ever spoke again."--Monk n Treb
Geez, after what happened to John Lennon, I figured that Ringo would have had more security than that!--jerright
Hey Mom! Can I crucify PJ?--Jake
So, sticks and stones will break your bones, Billy? Thanks for the tip!--jerright
Your special order came in at the drug store, Mom! Boy, these are HONKING tampons, aren't they?--That Guy
Anyone makes fun of my jacket, they get it in both eyes.--MechaGumby
"That blind guy down the street won't be hogging the sidewalk any more!"--Mr. Clean
Look, Helga! They had a two for one sale! Got any triple A batteries?--MechaGumby
Ok, I got the roman candles. Now where's the dog?--zazu
Yeah, I know the Annie Hall look was in 16 Years ago, but hey, progress is progress!--zazu
I'd like to see those bastards at the nuclear plant try to shut down their reactor without these!--Westur the Unspeakable
Guess what? Barfy found Grandpa! Can I keep these?--halaq
You put 'em together, use some glue, and they make a long stick! Billy sold 'em to me for my change jar with $25.00 in it! Cool, huh?--Vice Pope Doug
I'm playin' "Vlad the Impaler"! Jeffy, I need to borrow your guinea pigs .....--Vice Pope Doug
"Nine lives," my ass!--Kurt L.
...and if you keep hitting it, the bruise goes from blue, to purple, to green! Go see for yourself, it's cool!--Kurt L.
Dad says I'm as annoying as a short stick in the ass. Let's find out.--Dark Roger
Look, don't ask how I opened the door with these sticks in my hand.
I used the Force, okay? how's that?--Elessar
Years of PCP abuse had a permanent affect on Dolly's sense of reality. Recently, she had spent three full weeks thinking she was Ringo Starr..--Tazabby
Well, I had to do some really unmentionable things to Dad with these sticks, but look! I'm finally out of that goddam uniform!--Anastasia
Ha! The fools! They handed over the nuclear weapon plans for a briefcase full of monopoly money! As soon as I sell these to the Iraqis, I be on my way to Buenos Aires.--Anastasia
Today, at my Future Businesswomyn of America meeting, we learned how to destroy men with these two sticks. If anyone wants me, I'll be practicing on Jeffy.--Anastasia
Shrinking? Don't know what you're talking about. So, anyone want a french fry?--Kurt L.
Why didn't Bil Keane just go ahead and write "sex toy" on those things?--Ted the who gives a damn?
INCOMING DILDO JOKES!--The Lawyer
Don't worry...I put the saw and the ladder right back where I found them. OK, now, Daddy's going to start painting the house tomorrow morning, so make sure you charge the camcorder batteries.--Rotter
Gee daddy, *thanks*. Nice suit, only tie is missing. Then you wonder where the DFC is getting their ideas for bull dyke jokes.--Zebra
They're having a fire sale at the church, and I got the True Shinbones of St. Jude!--karne
Daddy, you're right. The bo sticks work better than the quarterstaff on Jeffy.--Non Anon
OK girls, I've got the mop handles. How about that game of Women in Prison?--paTRICK heSTER
I won first prize at the Junior Lesbian Activist Fashion Show!! I got posters of k.d. lang an' Melissa Etheridge!--Vice Pope Doug
A hit offa one of THESE an' you'll be giggling 'til you piss yourself at anything that moves!!--Vice Pope Doug
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