DFC #76 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
Guess who just got that Henry freak to finally scream out in pain?--zazu
Guess what, Mom! I got cast as Bart Simpson's stunt double! One more break like this and I'm out of this dead-end strip for good!--Riff
Hey Mom, I'm startin' my own militia...wanna join?--pillet
Ha, ha, ha, Mr. Mitchell, I believe this is what you were looking for. You are now powerless against me.--Greg J
Grampa, are you sure those were nitro pills? None of them blew up. Grampa...?--Greg J
According to this, the best place to start digging the well is right in the kitchen.--Greg J
"Oh boy! I love a nice, healthy race war!"--ddan
Guess what? Jeffy's head looks like a watermelon on the inside, too!--Kurt L.
Look! The blood washed right off!--jerright
"That'll teach those hippie freaks from Love Is... to walk around naked all the time!"--zeddows 95
I got a pocket full of rocks! Go ahead, keep teasing me about the single nostril!--BK
"Hey Mom! You know that obese cat that used to tap dance on the back fence?..."--Blake
I finally nailed that rat that was holed up in the basement! Hot dog, we're eatin' MEAT tonight!--Orion the Hunter
Boy, that red dot on Mrs. Patel's forehead makes a great target!--zazu
Here! This'll hold up Grandma's goiter!--zazu
Guess what? Jeffy was riding down the street on his bike I got off three shots from the bedroom-two of 'em to the head. So much for Oliver Stone's Theory!--zazu
Well, you can forget about the "Seeing" part of Jensen's Seeing eye dog!--zazu
Let me know when Barfy makes another "nature call" I'm out of ammunition.--Tazabby
Hey Mom, this thing came in a box addressed to you labeled "Horney Harriet's Dildo Machine". Can I keep it?--Jake
Hey, Mom, I found what Not Me used to take out the picture window. I guess you're sorry you blamed me, right?--The Lawyer
I just knocked the stuffing out of that stupid Calvin kid's tiger. You should see him cry!--Anastasia
I think I found the soft spot on PJ's head.--DMW
After 200 solid hours of DOOM, Billy's rampage began.--DMW
I'm all out of ammo. Got anymore mice?--DMW
Hey mom, you're about to get a disturbing phone call from next door, but they're lying. ...by the way, we're out of eggs.--Kurt L.
Hey! Did you know you can drive a ball bearing through someone's ribs and into their lungs with one of these? Ask Dolly if you don't believe me.--anon
"Menace", my ass. Dennis the Snivelling Pushover is more like it.--Paul Roub
I never thought the human skull could make such a hollow clunking sound!--Nethicus
On the floor, bitch! just let me have those cookies, and nobody gets hurt. But if I hear any whispering I'll execute every last mother-fucking one of you!--Such a nice boy!
Billy was overjoyed that the Warren Commission had stuck that patsy Oswald with all the blame.--Capt. phealy
...so right when Brown gets right to the football, I mean within INCHES, I let this thing rip. The football drops right outta Lucy's hands and Brown falls right on his ass. I decided to leave when Linus called 9-1-1 'cus Charlie was just wailin' away on Lucy's head.--BK
"Mom! Look! I built it from a kit! Ready for a pelvic exam?"--The Sandman
Dolly! Jeffy! The baby sitter is DOWN! The rest of the weekend will RULE!--Vice Pope Doug
I shot the street lights by the ATM out. Just let me get my bat and we're all set.--anon
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