DFC #16 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
"Don't worry, pops, baby-factories like mom are a dime a dozen."--"Uncle" Al
Daddy, do you ever get that "no so fresh" feeling?--anon
"I wish I could be on there, and get far, far, away from you."--Tim Harrod
Well, Dad, the reason that cloud looks like a jet is because IT IS a jet, you moron. --The Unmasked Revenger
Bad touch, Daddy, bad touch!--anon
This crossover with Terry and the Pirates turned out to be pretty lame, huh?--Horselover Fat
Jesus! All I did was ask for extra peanuts...--Davest
I always wanted to be in your masculine arms when World War III started.--Nethicus
"So you're saying God could smash Mommy's plane to the ground like he was flicking a bug?"--Tim K.
"You're sure you packed the Stingers?" I asked. "Of course," you said. "Because the Iraqis aren't paying us eight million to infiltrate an air base and just watch Air Force One take off," I said. "What do I look like, an idiot?" you said...--Andy Ihnatko
Amazing how with Ufimtsev's equations for calculating electroreflective cross-sections, that plane could have the radar signature of a ball bearing eh? OK, carry me back to my office...I've got a conference call with CERN in an hour.--Andy Ihnatko
No, the UN's secret surveillance craft are black helicopters. That one probably belongs to the Elders of Zion or maybe the Ninth Directorate.--Andy Ihnatko
Make this one go "BOOM" too, Daddy!--Patrick-Gabriel
There goes Mommy with the Ricky the Pool Boy.--NCB
So what happens when it hits the edge of the panel?--Avram Grumer
Who do you think Mommy thought about just before the plane went down - you or Mr. Gibson?--Carl Montgomery
Hey Dad, don't ya just wish you could be that high?--the brian
Well, they're off. We'll see if they cleared Customs on the six o'clock news.--anon
Daddy, why is Mommy a stupid whore?--anon
Dad, you're wrong. The cloud doesn't look anything _like_ a mushroom! Of course, my eyeballs are melting.--tom jenkins
Gee, Daddy...do you think that in Heaven, Gramps' look...AW, God-DAMMIT! CUT! I said CUT!!! Leroy, can we lose that friggin' plane in post?--Andy Ihnatko
Don't worry...it's just another one of THE LOCKHORNS' reconnaisance planes. Man, imagine someone trying to swipe ideas from us...!--Andy Ihnatko
So if you were on an airplane, and an angel got sucked into one of the turbines and caused a crash, would you automatically get into Heaven?--Andy Ihnatko
I've seen Mommy come out of my closet lotsa times! What's so special 'bout this time?--ZAZU
Why'd that guy want your pilot's uniform so bad, Daddy? I don't think gun-toting maniacs should even be allowed to fly planes.--Lord G
"Told you the X-ray machine would catch you bringing me as carry on luggage."--Mr. Clean
"When I grow up, I'll get me some boobies and I'll be a stewardess, too."--"Uncle" Al
If God meant for us to fly, Daddy, he wouldn't be throwing those thunder bolts at the plane!--anon
"I never realized this before, Dad. In addition to your oversized butt, you also have a _very_ bad haircut."--anon
You mean when Mommy comes back from Sweden, she'll be a daddy too?--Sisyphus
This clock can't be right, its running backwards.--Roxanne LeReaux
I have two questions...Why is the sky blue, and why do you have your hand down my pants?--SatanX
No shit it's an airplane, Dad, now get your thumb out'a my asshole!--anon
Daddy, is that the plane we'd be on if you hadn't blown our vacation money on smack?--Pete B.
"FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE...." Aw shit, it didn't go off. I told you to let ME do the wiring!--Pastor of Muppets
As big as your butt is, Dad, I don't think the people in the plane can see it.--Trism
"Daddy, When I grow up can I be an Islamic terrorist?"--Supa Hex
It's a plane, stupid!--Adam
What'd we fall? 26, 27000 feet?--anon
...and since the air travels further over the wing than under, that creates a vacuum and provides lift. Now I have one for you. How could you possibly be my real father when you are such a dumbass?--Blake
(giggle) Daddy? (snerk) Your hand is really (giggle snerkle) cold.--Starvin' Marvin
Sitting in a cow pasture watching planes go by... You call THIS bonding?--David J. Johnson
If you sing "Leaving On A Jet Plane" again, I'm gonna tear your nads off.--zazu
You left /Gilligan/ in charge of signalling the plane? GodDAMN it, you know he'll screw it up, just like all the other times!--Craig
Honest! I saw Grampa on the wing. He was growling and tearing up panels like it was tissue paper!--?
Well, I guess you can add jet planes to that list of things you can't draw for shit!--zazu
don't worry dad, maybe the next plane will see us and rescue us from this god awful cartoon.--anon
Well, Father, I thought it was going to be difficult at first, but I must say I think I've adjusted nicely to the fact that your torso has been fused to an oversized dress shoe. And, yes, that IS a nice plane.--Jer
It's moments like these that make up for all the unfair punishments, disappointing Christmases, and missed Little League games. I just pinched a loaf on your inner thigh.--Jer
I love the smell of napalm in the morning. That aftershave has got to go, though.--anon
While mom's away can we play some nice Dvorak instead of her dissonant Prokoviev cubist trash ? --Dave
Daddy......Why does it hurt when I pee?--anon
"When it explodes, can I sift through the carnage, Daddy?"--anon
Hey look, his parachute isn't opening up. This is turning out to be a more entertaining afternoon than I expeccted.--Greg J
Honestly though, if we're to promote this ventriloquism act as a family show, you'd better cut the cold hands jokes...--Rusty Q.
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