DFC #135
(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)  (<<)  (<)  (>)  (>>)
  (?)    '?'

Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc.
Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc.

Dolly! Hurry up before the DFCers bombard this place with "Pull-My-Finger" captions!--anon
What are you doing mowing the lawn? I thought that's what we bought those fucking kids for.--Bongbrain
Those soaps did it to me again. We gotta have sex right here, right now, or I'll start screaming.--Zebra
Dammit, Bil. East and west, not north and south, look at all the other lawns in the neighborhood, you fucking non-conformist.--Gump Master Flex
Bil, How many times have I told you not to wear shorts? You're scaring the kids again!--Yakko
You mulched PJ? Are you insane? Do you think kids grow on.... never mind.--paTRICK heSTER
The tree and the grass are very nice dear, but you forgot to draw the neighborhood.--anon
Upon sighting the escapees, the overseers release the robotic lawn mowers to deal with the problems. -From "Newt's Kids: A Guide to Rules in A Gingrich Orphanage."--anon
You have to touch my hand before I take over. This is tag team mowing.--ChoppingBlock
No, Bil, what I said was, "While the kids are busy, get me another John, dear!"--Charlie Steinhice
Damn, must've forgotten to secure the second story bathroom window. Release the hounds!--MechaGumby
I don't care what your therapist says, it is not healthy for all three of them to be humping a tree.--Toozday
Bill, You imbicile, don't you know an ambush when you see one.--Mad Mike
"Bil, I *told* you to stop watching that "NaturePorn" video! The kids are humping the tree again!" --jan
LET-IT-GROW!!! If it even VAGUELY LOOKS like we're threatening the kids, our nosy neighbors'll call Child Protection again!--not elsie
Did you get that mower from Tim Allen? I wanted the grass cut, not paved!--Roy
PJ's over by the tree, you idiot. What are you doing over here?--anon
When they try to come down from the tree again, please say, nicely, that Mommy wants them to play outside a little longer. Please don't run at them with the mower screaming, "Stay up there you little fuckfaces!!" -- it upsets them. Thanks honey -- I know you can do it.--Vice Pope Doug
Will that thing run if you tip it upside down? If so, one quick shake of the tree and our problems are over...--War Gerbil
The kids got into your Vietnam souveniers again. I'd watch that heavy brush for land mines, if I were you.--Keef
It's called "Survival of the Fittest". You "accidentally" mow down the first rugrat who falls out of that tree and we cut our food bills by a sixth!--Riff
You've treed them, Bil! Now go get a chain saw and finish the job!--Roy
Be careful. Grandma is passed out drunk in the high grass.--Anastasia
No, I don't think you could convince the cops that you "accidentally" hurled the lawn mower into the tree.--Pastor of Muppets

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