DFC #178
(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)  (<<)  (<)  (>)  (>>)
  (?)    '?'

Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc.
Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc.

When I said I loved you enough to give ya a kidney.. I meant LATER!--Cindy
PJ! It's cards NOT cherades! Besides, I already know your answer, its 'daddy'.--ChoppingBlock
PJ, when I told you to go beat off, thats not what I meant.--Azazael
MOM! Will you please give P.J. back his crack pipe?--Prof. Moriarity
Hey, look. You bet your soul. Not me. See you in hell, P.J.--Prof. Moriarity
Increasingly given to violent fits of rage and refusing to wear anything except camo, PJ, the world's littlest Gulf War veteran, was slowly losing his final battle with Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.--not elsie
Geez...all right, all right I'll give them back...just tell me where DO you find "The girls of pampers" playing cards--I'm in love with Anastasia
Damn it PJ...when I said for you to give me signals when we play bridge, I was hoping for something a little more subtle!--RBByrnes
Mom,will you get "Lee Majors" off of me,I'm trying to play Go Fish and I can't concentrate with all these wierd noises!!--Jago
Jeffy, if this is the best of the goons you can afford, I don't think I'm gonna pay back that loan.--Greg J
"Also, 'Raging Bull' never spent six hours sitting in his own excrement. Stop living the lie, P.J!"--Jizmo the Wonder Horse
Look on the bright side - Tarot cards aren't _always_ right.--anon
Mom, will you please call that asshole hypnotist and tell him to convince P.J. that he is not the energizer bunny?--Tazabby
In 20 years, when he's in therapy, all he's gonna remember is how I beat him damn near senseless, he wont remember at all what an annoying little shit he was. Sigh! Being the oldest son can be a real burden sometimes.--anon
"Hey, I thought these new cabbage patch dolls were only supposed to eat your hair!?"--Rainman
Torture me all you want, but I will never tell you what your middle initials stand for! Never!!!! Mwahahaha!--Sgt. Spam
"Mom, will you please tell this little Aryan shit that I am NOT Jewish?"--Nightfall
"Ow! I'm telling you-ow!-that television-ow!-doesn't-ow!-cause violence-Jesus, that hurts!-so letting PJ-ow!-watch Walker, Texas Ranger-ow!-won't matter at all-ow!"--Thomas Wilde
Daddy, what do you and PJ do on your trips to the lake? I mean, I say "go fish" and he fucking freaks!--Truant
Look you little snot, that's not going to break up my kidney stones.--yegr
Have you been plating mortal combat again? Quit trying to rip out my spine or I'll rip out your fucking heart!--jegr
PJ, when I said I'd give you five bucks to bang me all night...--His Imperial Majesty
Mom, PJ's having a 'roid rage again.--His Imperial Majesty
....and this one shows you and Dolly with "Mr. Wiggly." Bet you don't leave the door open next time, you little pervert! Ow!--Gromble
"P.J., It's no use. You drew the Joker; you have to blow daddy today."--Moorlock
You've got a lot to learn about "fisting".--anon
Mom, PJ's channeling Shiva, the 8 armed Hindu goddess of destruction again!--Anonywuss
...and here in slow-motion we see exactly why you should only install your infant's car seat in the rear of the vehicle, unless your passenger-side Billy-bag is disconnected.--Uncle Maria
Dammit, PJ! That's a PBS pledge drive. Wishbone will be back any minute.--kevy
Daddy!, PJ's gulf war syndrome is flaring up again.--Truant
Listen, you ASKED me to read your tarot cards, if you don't like the fact that they predict a life of lonely unfullfilled bitterness, take it out on dad. It's his genes.--Otis
PCP in the formula ain't a good idea. --Colin
So, you lost your soul in a game of poker. I guess that'll teach you to raise on two pair, you stupid shit!--Schickelgruber
No, PJ! When Daddy isn't around, "Hit me" means deal me another card!--Riff
PJ never suspected that we had replaced his regular water with Water Joe!--Water Joe
`For Billy, the worst thing about being made into the new `slugboy' for Grandma's traveling freak show was having his sessile form pummeled by a jealous baby brother..' -- from Circle of Pain by Jeffey Keane--Stefan Jones
Hey! Watch the kidneys! The only way I'm gonna be able to afford college is to sell one of them.--Stefan Jones
Hey, Forrest Gump! If "through" doesn't work, try "Around!"--Rotter
Alright, fine. We can play strip Go Fish if you really want to.--Anastasia
Who's the idiot who bought him Mike Tyson signature pajamas?--Anastasia
MOM! Ross Perot won't quit bugging me!--Jim Smith
In the Keane house, there wasn't a lot of money, but there was a whole lot of love.When Billy's chronic constipation would act up, there was no laxatives to spare, but there was always PJ...--DR. SCHMUCK
That's it, that's it... We'll have you in fighting shape in no time, and then you'll show that little bastard from Baby Blues who's boss!--Cassius Clay
"Jeez, PJ, I'm sorry you're hungry, but I won the last hand, and it ain't my fault mom's bet involved breastfeeding!"--sewer urchin
There's no point in letting you play strip poker until you're out of diapers. That's final!--phonsux
"I'm guessing you just found out that I'm your father"--Speed R
Ahhhhhh... Who needs a Barcalounger?--Doc Evil
Give it up you little punk, those kidneys are hardened by years of drinking.--anon
Tell your man to back off, Lopez, or I leave this game with all your money.--Smokin' boner
With a sickening "pop pop pop" and a blast of pain, Billy knew his life was changed forever. PCP-addled PJ had just torn 3 vertebrae from his lower spine.--Diggit
You think I care if both mom's nipples are busy? Now back off, 'fore I open a can of whup-ass and spill it!--Gromble

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