DFC #8
(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)  (<<)  (<)  (>)  (>>)
  (?)    '?'

Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc.
Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc.

Rather than sell us off for scientific experiments, we think you should get off your lazy white ass and get a job.--anon
"Look! We trained PJ to shit his pants on command!"--Paul T. Riddell
"Remember how you told us to get abducted by aliens? Well, we're back, and they're better at rectal probes than you are."--Paul T. Riddell
Mom said to bring you the classified ads.--Rishmawy
Hey, dad, guess what? Your little incident at the nudie bar last night made the police briefs!--anon
"Hey Dad! PJ's doing that Snoopy dance again! I guess this proves Mom's porkin' Charlie Schulz!--anon
Hey, Dad, today's Marmaduke is even less funny than we are!--Thomas Jenkins
"Mommy sent us to keep you busy while she and the TV repair man had lemonade."--anon
"Good news, Daddy! Now we've all been kicked out of the house!"--anon
Uh, Dad? There's a cartoon in here that looks just like us, except the captions aren't funny.--Teo
Your hometown newspaper has dropped your strip! You gonna give us our five bucks, or you wanna go double-or-nothing on that paper your brother edits?--Andy Ihnatko
Who'd have guessed that my strip would become more successful than yours, huh? Now get the hell offa that and mow my goddamn lawn before I have Jeffy and Dolly beat the crap out of you again.--Andy Ihnatko
That's it Dad, we are demanding a trade to another cartoon strip, cause we're sick of these people on the net making sexual innuendos about us.--Kelvin Cabrera-Castellar
Says here, the Feds still think you're holed up in the Carribean. So where's the loot?--J. Edgar Hoover
You know, Dad, the perspective in this cartoon is so bad that by my measurement that hammock is about five feet off the ground.--Amber Dowlin
Hey, I never drew any of these cartoons! Are you sure those weren't from the times you got wasted on tequila?--anon
Guess what, Dad! They voted your comic strip the most inexplicably successful of all time!"--anon
Boy, that Ziggy is an even big loser than you are, Pop!--zazu
Look at the For Better or Worse kids -- they age, they're built like human beings, gravity applies to *all* of them...--Paul Roub
We're defecting to "Rose is Rose" 'cuz Rose promised to felch us all!--anon
"Guess what Dad? We got 5 bucks!!! While you were asleep, we sold all your artist stuff."--Grandpa Keane
"See the big booger we collected? It took us three years of saving, but we're going to be on TV with it!"--Paul T. Riddell
Lenin says that you are an idler and must be re-educated! The workers press does not lie!--pravda
According to Miss Manners, it's not polite to call Mommy an ignorant bitch and storm outta the house.--jk
"Mom says you can take today's strip and shove it up your ass."--anon
Daddy, please don't be mad, but we cut your cartoon out of the paper, added our own weird captions, and uploaded it to the Web!--VPD
Hey Dad! remember when I told you I wanted that new toy or else I'd submit that stuff we wrote in last week? Well guess which gag they had the balls to print?"--Horney Lil Bastard
"We just wanted to tell you that we really admire that fetching curve your fat ass makes in that hammock!"--Cybernettr
That mommy you found in the personal ads is at the front door.--Chris P.
"Don't look at me like that. You've seen my penis before."--Paul T. Riddell
Hey you! Yeah, YOU, fat-ass! Paper here says our allowance should be WAY higher! We want back-wages, so throw down the wallet, white slave-master, or we kick your ass and TAKE it!--Doc
Our real dad's here. You can leave now.--sunflower
We're calling the Child Abuse Hotline again, unless we play horsey... NOW!--Bob Tackett
Huh?! We followed the scent of what smelled like a wild boar, and it ends right in front of the hammock you're sitting on!--Magus
"All we had to do to get our names in the paper was put some naked pictures of ourselves on the Internet!"--panicboy
Dad, today marks your 1,000th consecutive strip without a single new idea. Congratulations!--Pete B.
Hey Daddy, look! We've finally paper-trained PJ.--Kyosuke
We let the dog drop a few logs in the hammock yesterday! Have you noticed yet?--Kittycat
Big news, Dad.....they've isolated the gene for Mis-shapen Head Syndrome. And in our lifetime!!--anon
"The neighbors just called. They want you to put your pants back on."--anon
"Y'know, Dad, this new arboretum is nice and all, but we kinda liked it back when our bedroom didn't have grass."--anon
We want a transfer to The Far Side. Do you know where we can get a cow?--Moondog
DAD LOOK!! It says, "Nerdy cartoonist of a family strip with a wife and 4 kids seeks man to punish me when I can't come up with a funny cartoon." You two should get together!!!--Nick

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