DFC #155 |
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Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc. Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc. |
Dolly unexpectedly finds hidden messages from Satan in her Highlights magazine. Nobody else was surprised, however.--alanon
Where the fuck is that NINA! DAMN YOUR EYES, HIRSHFIELD!--anon
Dolly's mouth opened in dull horror as she saw she had colored outside the lines. It was only a matter of time before the beatings would commence.--Jojo
I think the 5 pt spread over those lame Bud Weiser horses is a good bet. The giraffes have a mean special teams unit.--binky
See, I told you that this can be the blandest cartoon in the nation.--Matt
Where is Dolly's other hand and why is she breathing so hard? The Shadow knows!--PsychoTee
Driven half-mad by starvation, Dolly attempts to eat Volume G of the Encyclopaedia Brittanica--Cheese-boogie man
"Dis be an grr-af-fy. He crib be in de homey land. He be slappin' when he walkin'..." What is this shit? I guess I'll never get an A in this stinking "ebonics" class...--Orion the Hunter
Photos of animals taking dumps....umm, very interesting collection, Dad.--Tazabby
A scene from Harlan Ellison's bonechilling new science-fiction sequel, I Have No Neck, And I Must Scream.--Ravecavy
It says here that the daddy giraffe licks the baby giraffes all over to keep them clean. Hhhmm, I guess it's normal, but why do I feel so dirty afterwards?--Schickelgruber
Why is it that, in the rare caption where I have a shadow, it walks around with me in empty space?--Temporal Wizard
So to sum up, while Darwin's theories explain the giraffe's neck, nothing accounts for the hideous freaks of nature I call my family.--Velcro of Samsara Vagabond
Good evening, I think that tonight's story will prove the....That's enough?! Oh, come on, just a little more!! I can handle this "Hitchcock '97" gig, I know I can!! Please!! You don't understand! I can't go back to the DFC!! I can't!! --The 4-Star Pope
On tonight's episode of "What If?" we will be examining how things might have been different if O.J. Simpson had married...A GIRAFFE!!--The 4-Star Pope
Amazing! Uncle Pete has the same pattern on his underware as the giraffe....--Kage
A few panels ago, coloring a Rhino. Now this. How childist! Why dontcha show me readin' "Vaseline Studs" like I really do??--Vice Pope Doug
Disdaining crayons, Dolly calls her artwork, "Coloring by Projectile Vomit"...--Verneaux
Oh, look Mommy's African Safari picture album. There's Mommy. Hmmm...that's a strange thing to be doing to a giraffe.--ChoppingBlock
Remedial, juvenile zoological publications are so much more enjoyable when I'm frying on quality blotter!--Vice Pope Doug
If you don't turn off the flashlight and stop making "Shadow" jokes, Billy, I'll show you exactly what evil lurks in the heart of Dolly...--The Outsider
Mommy, these shiny leather pants are hurting me.--anon
Is this some sort of trick Doc? This looks just like an ink spot too.--Christina
"Oh God. So how many 'he has a neck and I don't' captions are we going to get THIS time?"--halaq
Speaking of wild bush... Where's the pruning shears?--Spastic Colon
I dunno Billy, I guess after last weekends experience with that Great Dane I'm gettin' a little leary about this zoophilia stuff.--kafka
'Not-Me' is going to get his ass beat if he dosn't leave me alone!--Bil Keane - Shadows 'R' Us
I think my caption should be accepted soley because I did not go for the neck joke.--Preacher/Judge
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