DFC #270
(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)  (<<)  (<)  (>)  (>>)
  (?)    '?'

Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc.
Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc.

Sir, would you like an after dinner mint? It's wafer thin!--Namgubed the Merry Elf
"After the kid's older brother tried fifteen times to get into the shot, I gave up on intercutting to show the regression and decided to stick with the old man for the soup eating scene." -- Stanley Kubrick, The Making of 2001: A Space Odyssey--Gen. Sedgwick
"Let me know if that 'Chia Beard' really works..."--Stiles
Objection, your Honor -- counsel is feeding the witness.--Namgubed the Merry Elf
Man, with Charles Laughton dead, where will we...You!! You'd make a perfect Henry VIII!--phil
"My God! PJ's channeled Orson Welles!"--Randall
"Hah!" thought PJ -- if anyone can out-cute this megalomaniacal little fuck, I can!!--Vice Pope Doug
Food on you, mate!--coptician
...and in this print, one can see the precursor to the famous "melted clocks" in the form of a "melting baby"..... Warped Impressions: The Early Work of Salvador Dali--War Gerbil
" Soylent Oatmeal " is made from Wilfred Brimley!!!--Doc Evil
I told you not to mock his drawing skill. But no, you thought a toddler was immune from retribution.--Peon
Don PJ, my wife, she is having an affair...can you help me?--Das Fed
Among some miserable failures in Saturday morning cartoons was Jim Henson's GOP Babies . Shown here is a scene from this series, where a young Dan Quayle unsuccessfully tries to spell what a young Rush Limbaugh is eating.--alanon
PJ, wait, that's the spoonful of gruel with the kids from the Honey, We Were Released Straight to Video movies!! --xian, the boy with the monkey heart
Sorry about that, bro. Can I have my golf ball back?--Mr. Ben
"...so that is why I don't eat animals." Meanwhile, PJ chewed serenely on Thel's rare steak stew. --tundra
"I realize $500 is a lot of cash. But, come on, the Cowboys own Monday nights." --tundra
Okay, two words. First word sounds like 'shit on your face.'--The 13th Floor
In the first of the upcoming Star Wars prequels, we see young Obi-Wan being mercilessly dragged from the presence of a young Jabba the Hutt.--Bionic Duck
After having his legs gnawed off by rats, P.J. sits in some sits in some kind of poorly-defined extradimensional space and eats owl shit out of an ashtray. If that's not funny, I don't know what is.--Jizmo the Wonder Horse
Scene from Bil Keane's libelous anti-Kellogg's animated series, Corn Flakes Will Rot Your Face Off.--Jizmo the Wonder Horse
"If you weren't so ugly, Mom wouldn't have to feed you with a slingshot." ---Jester
Being under contract with Bil was like being under contract with the Devil. We tried hundreds of ways to get ourselves fired, but even when PJ stopped shaving for a month, Bil found a way to keep him in the strip. - from The Endless Circle By Jeffrey Keane--Riff
You want a tooth? You can't handle a tooth!--Riff
This week on Trek Babies: Lil' Picard engages Lil' Q in a battle of wits...and oatmeal.--Paul "Spock Amok" Reed
You look pretty content for a dude that's gonna be munchin' his own nuts for dessert, little brother! You owe me thirty five large, and I expect a wire into my Swiss account today. I love you, little man -- but it ain't my problem you went and got a major Chutes and Ladders habit!--Vice Pope Doug
...and Dad makes 47...Wait!! I think you broke Rod Stewart's record!!--Arby
It's no wonder they stuck you in a box, PJ.. You've been puking Jell-O shooters all day!--Beeker
Thel and Bil punished Jeffy for breaking a vase by forcing him to go without food for 5 days in a row. Jeffy was weak...barely able to pull himself up onto two feet. He begged PJ for even a morsel of gruel. PJ, with his usual flair for cruelty, mocked Jeffy by spilling the food all over himself and on the table just out of Jeffy's reach. -- PJ: Portrait of a Developing Sociopath by Billy Keane.--The Unmasked Revenger
Jeffy wasn't sure if he was shrinking or if PJ was growing. Either way, he figured, he was fucked.--The Unmasked Revenger

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