DFC #288
(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)  (<<)  (<)  (>)  (>>)
  (?)    '?'

Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc.
Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc.

A wave of nostalgia swept over them during Billy's rendition of Petula Clark's Downtown.--Namgubed the Merry Elf
Dad's really gonna be pissed off when he hears Scott Adams' autograph is worth more than his.--Anastasia
Autograph signings are so cool. Did you see how I reduced Dennis Rodman to tears?--Anastasia
Who would've thought you could find a 3 foot bong in a souvenir shop in the mall!!--Bil's Drug Buddy
I'm surprised Dad's organs were worth so much.--Treb
"I may be a happy camper, but I'm an ecstatic looter!"--Randall
Oh fuck off! When Daddy has an affair, we all get bikes!--Truant
Meanwhile, at the Oriental Massage parlor down the street, Bil's getting his *own* souvenir.--hogleg
Proud as a peacock with his new purse, PJ strolled merrily down the lane, momentarily forgetting about the evil woman at Supercuts...--Dr. Zam (back for his bimonthly appearance)
Even from the impossible zone, the "Good on you, Mate" shirt continued to operate in the DFC by sending out spies, the "I'm a Happy Camper" shirt among them.--Magus
"I get to club the next store clerk! I get to club the next store clerk!"--Magus
Another of Bil's twisted power games. PJ put his shirt on inside-out, and Dolly and Jeffy had sense enough to cover their slogans, but poor illiterate Billy's I'm A Penis Chomper drew stares and gasps.--Galahad
Oh boy. Thanks Mom. I've been looking for the 19" Love Kong for months. --Bubba
That George dude sure looks familiar! Hey, isn't he the one who hates brocoli"?!--Kevy
Dumb little twerps, thought Thel, Don't they realize they just bought souveners of their own town?--Ratman
Remember, act non-chalantly! He should be able to free himself in about five minutes.--Kevin
"Wow, first looting, now raping and pillaging! Home-school is the best, Mom!"--Generik
Who woulda thought the monkey was so talented?--Jenn Dolari
Two bags of cherry bombs, one box of nerve gas cannisters, one box of smoke grenades, a giant 'Heil Hitler!' poster and a live boa constrictor. This is gonna be the best thanksgiving day parade ever!--Space Mutant
Dad never bought us this much stuff when he tried to spite Mommy.--Ralph Emetic
Man! As soon as Bil falls asleep on the sofa, I'm gettin' out my new official Red Sox bat and WHOMP! WHAM! SPLAT! Like an over-ripe melon! KRAK! BANG! BIFF!!! HAHAHA! WHAMMMM!!! BIL GO DEAD NOW!!!! Oh, and thanks for the tee-shirt, too, Ma.--Rotter
"Sure it was all "Washington", "Bush", "Curious" or "Michael" related, but I picked up a great "Faith" poster and some wooden-teeth cookies!--kinky-jew
What a great place for huge dildos and cock rings!!!! I didn't know Liberace's brother was still alive!--K-man
"Nuthin' like a good helium enema!"--Dr. Schmuck
Mom! We're perpetual children living in an anachronistic white bread world. Why would we want to remember any of this?--BretttMaverick
Man, they've really cheapened this Timothy McVeigh trial...--gaijin
Check out Mommy's stiff, bloated walk. Next stop: Suppositories By Jane!--Trevita
Mommy may have the worst hair-style in all the oxygen-laden ecosysytems combined but it still makes shop-lifting SO much easier!--7 Minutes in Walmart

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