DFC #291
(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)  (<<)  (<)  (>)  (>>)
  (?)    '?'

Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc.
Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc.

You WILL put on this other dress or I'll replace your head with a brussel sprout.--R.J.M.
"Hmm. Yeah, she's pretty fun, but somehow, Whorehouse Barbie just isn't the same."--Magus
Okay, Barbie... Let's see if we can wedge yer new ass into THIS!--Doc Evil
There, now you're pretty enough to have sex with your Daddy.--Mike Smith
Sorry, Barbie, Ken doesn't like that outfit. It makes you look like a whore, he says. Put this one on before he smacks you around again. You don't want to make Ken upset.--anon
Look, you stupid little bitch, you'll make twice as much money tonite if you wear this little girlie outfit. Don't make me smack you up!--Noodle Muffin
So you want an extremely tight ponytail in back? We can handle that.--Namgubed the Merry Elf
Scene from Honey, I Shrunk Courtney Love , in theaters this summer.--anon
Hey, I'm missing my Jon-Benet action garrote!--Dain Bread
"Would Barbie like to wear the wedding dress? Nooooooo. Would Barbie like to gut her parents in the night like mongrel dogs? Yessssss."--Jizmo the Wonder Horse
Oh dear, New Figure Barbie(TM), looks like you've put on some weight. Used Italian salad dressing without making sure it was fat-free, didn't you? And now Ken's left you for Mihoshi from Tenchi Muyo. And you can't go clubbing because none of your clothes fit anymore. I dunno; can you think of a reason to go on living?--ewhac
This is how it feels to live without furniture, Barbie -- get used to it.--Namgubed the Merry Elf
No, no -- you'll want the traveling dress for when Jean arrives in her "leather pirate" outfit.--Namgubed the Merry Elf
It's the microwave for you, me proud beauty.--Treb
The success of 1996's "Tickle Me Elmo" spawned several imitators, such as 1997's moderate-seller "Sleep N Snore Ernie" and 1998's "Make Me Come Barbie."--M
Yah, you wore this one in picture 1207.jpg on alt.binaries.pictures.barbie.upskirt.no.genitalia--Rainman
Oh, Barbie, another dress ruined. Why don't they make tampons your size?--Heywood Jablome
I think this dress along with your red "fuck-me" pumps will get G.I. Joe's attention.--R.J.M.
I don't mind daddy playing with my dolls, but i wish he would clean em off after he is done!--Fig
My feminism teacher was right, this shit is oppressive!--Fig
"Conn-stant cravvve-ing is allllll I feelllll..."--k.d. lang's kid brother
Oh, look, Barbie, there's Ken butt-naked and hogtied to the Dream House chimney! What ever shall we do about it?--Horselover Fat
Daddy was right! All i had to do was threaten father Mulroony with going public and the church gave us $50,000.--Fig
Yep, you've got my number. Nothing like playing with dolls to counter those dyke tendencies. Ripping the clothes off beautiful femmes-- yep, that'll cure me.--Horselover Fat
"Very funny, Mom. Very droll. No, I won't forget to put her panties on to keep her ankles warm. Ha ha ha." --a non dog
Here you go, Barbie. You want to look good for your hanging, now don't you?--Riff
...but then you'll just end up as a bored blow job machine like Mommy...--dap
Dolly was the envy of the block with her Invisible Barbie®©™.--Medea Bunkmesser
I don't care how many times they redesign Barbie. As long as she has anything resembling an hourglass figure, I just can't relate.--Hugh Jass
They're right--Barbie IS grossly out of proportion. Just look at the shape of her head!--marty gray
The new "realistic" Barbie is shit compared to the new Flaming Faggot Ken®!--M
I'm not sure Ken want's to roleplay "Victorian Slut" today. How about "Little Bo Pee"?--Nethicus
Now the trick is to hide this under a portion of your dress they can't see... and voila! You're a shoplifter!--Nethicus
Dolly "the Pituitary Pretty" was rescued from her sideshow prison by none other the super glamorous Barbara Mandrell, who made the gentle giant her very own chambermaid. --Eat Yerself Fitter
I wonder why I have so many damn dresses for my doll, yet I only own one pair of polyester coaching shorts that make my thighs look pudgy?--Eat Yerself Fitter
Barbie's wider hips make me feel a little better, I guess, but I'm STILL waiting for DISPROPORTIONATE EYELID BARBIE..--Trevita
"*sigh* I wish that Crossdresser Ken had more accessories."--Stealth
I tried to explain to Daddy about forcing gender roles on his children, but he said he was too busy readin' his Altarboy Cumshot magazine to give a fuck.--p!
How pathetic. Relegated to playing in a bare room with a toy that knocks down my self-esteem level every time I play with it. And it doesn't help that Jeffy's doin' the nasty with my "Happy to be Me" doll.--Ultra-Girl
Once again, Barbie reinforces an unattainable image of female beauty. Her vertically-oriented skull and dual nostrils are, sadly, ideals that Dolly will never be able to achieve.--Jizmo the Wonder Horse

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