DFC #169
(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)  (<<)  (<)  (>)  (>>)
  (?)    '?'

Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc.
Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc.

Christ, the things I'll do to get a bead at Mardi Gras.--Yakko
"Damn! Not again. One of these days they're gonna realize that I sleep face down, and I won't wake up."--Jack Slade
This nun fantasy is gettin pretty old, Dad!-- azazael
Seldom is told the tragic ending of Gulliver's Travels when, upon entering the disproportional world of Keane, Gulliver was eaten alive by a crazed child bombed out of his mind on airplane glue. --The Mongoloid Moose
Okay!!! Stop taunting me, damn you!!! If I kill them all, will you finally let me sleep!?!--The Mongoloid Moose
Ok... i got the pillows, got the inscence, got the condoms... what did i forget? oh..THE FUCKING GIRL! --The 5th Beatle
Alright Dolly, that's enough! Geez, I'm sorry I said you throw like a girl!--The Almighty Afro
Jeffy screamed as he saw what was left of his champion hermit crab, and realized he never should have stiffed the mob.--Greg J
The Incest Fairy didn't leave me my five bucks!!--Matt Thiel
Repeat after me, Bil: bed, pillow, head... bed, pillow, head.--6His
Dad!? Could you keep the folding in there down to a dull roar?--Truant
Rise and shine yourself, bitch; you weren't up all night pounding back scotch with Andy Capp.--Bongbrain
Come on, Ida Know, quit fighting it. You know you want me!--Amazing AlKirk
Is that a piece of my lung? Damn, I have got to quit smoking.--Anastasia
You call that penetration, Daddy? You only knocked one tooth out!--Schickelgruber
Fuck, she's gone. Well I guess I should have known; people don't actually go out for ice at 3am.--Truant
Billy calling Orson. Come in, Orson.--Sgt. Spam
Oh, man! What a night. I feel like someone shit in my mouth. What! What the hell is this?!? I'm going to kill Kittycat--Bubba
Not again! Mom, we GOTTA cut back on the mousse!--Charlie Steinhice
"That's it?!? Damn--I'll never live up to my reputation as 'Peter North Jr.'!"--Bezdomny
"Jeez,havn't you ever heard of Vasiline,dad??"--Russell P Liddick
Dammit Thel, if you'd buy us some fucking milk or something our teeth wouldn't keep falling out.--ninailer
No! Don't go Mr. Bedbug. You're my only friend.--Anastasia
"After a night of terror-filled dreams, Billy Samsa woke to discover he had been transformed into Toad from the Super Mario Brothers games." --Franz Kafka, Metamorphocircus--Ravecavy
Dad, I am arching my back!--phonsux (actually ,my brother)
Great. The Tooth Fairy passed me over again, but the Brain Tumor Fairy managed to make another visit.--The 4-Star Pope
"Help! Grampa's ghost is trying to smother me again!"--The Fat Man
Aaaah! I'm crazy pillow-head boy! And I'm hungry! Gimmee some candy!--sharon
Was the sun rising or setting? Billy could not tell, for he could barely raise his head enough to breathe. All he asks is "Why me... why me..."--sharon
When Billy awoke he was enraged that instead of the Tooth Fairy leaving a quarter under his pillow, the Grain Fairy had left a sack of wheat flour on the back of his neck.--Dark Roger
[insert Exorcist reference of your choice ... ]--Riff
I told you nanites to keep it down!--His Imperial Majesty
The pillow is speared on my stupid cowlick! Could I get some help here?--phonsux
I SEE YOU! THEY TELL ME IT'S JUST THE DRUGS, BUT I SEE YOU!!--Disconnect
"Dammit, you nanocephalic crustaceans, if you don't get this routine down pat there won't BE any 'head lice circus' at Show 'N Tell and it'll be Kwell City, kapeesh!?--Orrin Bloquy
Damn, I'm outta shape! I used to be able to do pushups with two pillows on my head!--Pastor of Muppets

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