DFC #495
(a cheery warmfuzzy cartoon that you can't see)  (<<)  (<)  (>)  (>>)
  (?)    '?'

Image © 1998 Bil Keane, Inc.
Distributed by Cowles Synd., Inc.

We knew Mom's waxing obsession had gotten out of hand when she replaced the floor of our kitchen with a three-foot-thick sheet of solid polyurethane. -- Dolly Keane, The Last Laugh--Riff
"She's on to you, fall back, FALL BACK"--The EXXXorcist
Christ, Mom, will ya drop the puck already?!?!--rudy
I don't know... there's something about this square picture that's oddly disturbing.....--Mr. ?
"Whoa! Two plastic soldiers! Hot damn, maybe she got the cookies and ice cream, too!"--Heath
Well, that settles that. Goofus can't fuck worth shit!--Bad Girl
"Do it! Do it! Open the 'fridgerator! Ka-fuckin'-blewie, baby!"--Torc.
Damn, mom is hot.--Bad Girl
"News flash! All your asses look fat in heels!"--Stan Xhiao
Well I'll be darned. Those rocket shoes actually work!--Chris "Werehamster" Dugan
"I managed to have Billy bring him into the kitchen. That's when I opened up the box of bear claws. The lil' fucker fell back so fast he slid right through the wall. I nearly pissed my pants." --Thelma Keane, Guilty Pleasures--K-Man
The final appearance of Kittycat in the DFC, center-right, floating in formaldehyde.--Torc.
Well, I'll be...They ARE conspiring!--agm
There's no way in hell I would have believed it had I not seen it with my own eyes. But by God she did it; between the awsome suction she could generate after almost 500 panels of hard-core fellatio and our mother's tendency to polish all surfaces in the house to a near-frictionless sheen, a very confused Billy began sliding across the floor towards us.--Pete B., trying to go out with a bang
"We finally get a big-screen projection TV, and that dork wants to show home movies on it!"--Dvandom
Better stay out of the kitchen for another five minutes. I hear Dad revving up the Zamboni.--Coalcracker
"I can't believe it. The son of a bitch made parole again."--Kris Mullen, Vitamin Tom 2 of 2 (the other VitaminTom [no space] is my brother)
Fortunately, two minutes in Thel's box for hooking, tripping or roughing was anything but a penalty.--Helder
Uh-oh, they scuffed up Mommy's floor. This should be fun to watch.--Anastasia
His head is bigger than ever... the next hissy-fit is going to be extreme.--Horselover Fat
"Hold my dolly, PJ. I'm gonna show these fucktards how this game is really played."--Helder
In the distance, Dolly could just make out a figure that must be her mother. If she started now and moved quickly, she might make it to the table before the food got cold.--megafrim
"Shit. There goes my 'plausible denability'."--Thomas Wilde
"Pretty devious, Peej, putting the empty cookie bag back on the top shelf. As long as Jeffy doesn't fink you out, Billy should take the rap for you."--'zoid
"I got five bucks that says Jeffy starts crying before he even figures out which one of them is in trouble."--Helder
"Mom! Get Billy in here! PJ can't mix a Manhattan worth shit!"--Tonton Macoute

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