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Copyright © Michael Hoke
All Rights Reserved.

Zirconia3.com--Whaddya want for free anyway?

Remember back in The Day, when the Internet was dominated by freaks, weirdos, eccentrics and maniacs?

is proud to bring you
CyberCreep Internet Content Filter Software


Children's sites?   BYE-BYE.
Corporate sites?   BLAMMO.
"Kewl" Sites Of Whenever?   A THING OF THE PAST.
Top 5% sites?   NOT HERE.
Star Trek sites?   SET PHASERS TO "IGNORE."
Religious sites?   SMITED.
AOL?   Who?

CyberCreep routes your internet traffic around so-called "Quality" sites, granting you faster access to The One True Web...
The Weird Web that Congress and the Pentagon don't want you to see! Shit like this:

Bill Hicks.com
The late Bill Hicks, the greatest comedian you've never heard of.
(Bill just didn't have what it takes to do Disney movies and truck commercials)

The Reverend Tim McIntire
"Pornography is good for you."

The former home of the Dysfunctional Family Circus, but that's another matter.

Bastard Operator From Hell
Bastard Home Page

John Bizarre
"You can always tell if it's going to be a big one during the first few moments and this one felt like no big deal so I saw no reason to stop typing out the word 'fuckknuckle'.

"Yes, it's a compound word, not two words, ya jag."

David Thorne
"I read somewhere that a healthy breakfast helps concentration and have found, since replacing my usual diet of nicotine with froot loops, I am able to move small objects with my mind."

Breaking Madden
nothing we can do for him now
"They've got him.
Pull up the rope. There's nothing we can do for him now."

Amateur science + cute girls = Cool!

Acts Of Gord
"You don't have very good customer service!"
"You aren't a very good customer."

Ah, customer service the Zirconia3.com way!

Suspect Device
  by Greg Peters (1962-2013)

more info here. (click "show notes")

A loan? Senator, I'd suck a dog's nose dry before I'd lend you a chicklet

Nobody Scores!
Some days a girl's just in the mood to WRECK SHIT!

The Pain -- When Will It End?
"I told you you shoulda believed in God, dumbass."  
"I told you not to screw all those little girls."

Lulu Eightball

Kate Beaton
"Ohh this crowd is *angry*"
     "So do we talk to them, or do we just start knifing them--"
     "Sorry sir!"
"Why *else* would we have *swords*?"

Cat and Girl
"I hate to be the bearer of bad news--"

Get Your War On
"This war on terrorism is gonna rule!"

"What about the time you swam in this stuff for almost a year? Was it nasty then?"
     "Amniotic fluid is always nasty."

Concerned: The Half-Life and Death of Gordan Frohman

Red Meat
Red Meat Construction Set
"Just because I'm a priest doesn't mean I won't kick your ass, Milkman Dan."


The Comics Curmudgeon
"Did you know that 'Mark Trail' is actually an Estonian word? It's derived from 'Mark,' meaning 'smug,' and 'Trail,' meaning 'tsunami-surviving bastard.'"

My First Dictionary

The Church Of The SubGenius.

Eternal salvation or triple your money back!


"You will send me four dead cats in a shoebox. I will send you high-quality photos of them as marionettes."

marketer: "Thank you for your time. Your blog is not a good fit for us presently."

The Toast
"Please excuse the language. I've been exposed to small but constant levels of solar radiation for the last fourteen years, and sometimes I swear to God I can feel parts of my skull liquefying, and I have to lie down before I get the shakes."

The Skeptic's Dictionary & Guide for the New Millennium

with new space-age ingredient Skeptizon-7TM, guaranteed to improve your spiritual outlook by 500%!!

Clients From Hell
Linux Hater's Blog
Adobe UI Gripes
The Consumerist
The Six Stages of Field Service Support

Cynicism? You're soaking in it.


Order CyberCreep today!
Zirconia3.com Express Delivery!

Operates on any browser, any platform.
Really.    Seriously.
Even an Atari 2600 on a 300 baud modem and a rotary line can use CyberCreep.